Comments on: The Life of an Emotional Sponge

By: Robert

Robert — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 03:21:22 +0000

I relate to this as well…the writing and songwriting helps…having someone willing to listen to you talk it out helps too…it takes time to get used to explaining a lot of what goes on….i tend to pace..catching up with all the feelings…anything tragic…semi tragic….or just sad can send me reeling at times…takes a full day or more to recover…then writing and playing can come in flurries…definately noticed not wanting to be too attached to someone for long periods of time…it brings them down at times…i posted my youtube site link..you can hear some of the songs that have resulted from it…the upside is you can project as much as you absorb…i try to see things in a bigger picture alot…focusing on stillness and silence…and the beauty of the world and love…generositey *sp.??* great post thanks
.-= Robert´s last blog ..suffocate =-.

By: Sarah C.

Sarah C. — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 10:15:10 +0000

I can relate to what a lot of you are saying. I really just realized this about myself tonight. I too am a songwriter and try to purge most of it into that…some of them were written about other people’s feelings. I also go through detatched periods where most people wouldn’t know but my mind’s not really there…it’s sifting through a lot of feelings and stuff trying to sort it and deal with whatever needs to be dealt with. My kids can tell…and it makes me sad. I grew up in an emotionally volatile environment, where no one had any communication skills. I think mine was a learned behavior to feel out my surroundings and know how to respond. Anyone else think they may have developed theirs rather than just being that way?

By: Our Best Version | A Sponge’s Contribution: How to Channel Your Sensitivity to Do Good

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 03:39:43 +0000

[...] used the word “sponge” to describe myself, and so has Kristi over at Kikolani.com. It’s an accurate analogy — we soak up other people’s feelings. But a sponge [...]

By: Kristi

Kristi — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 22:38:51 +0000

@Miruh: I think my biggest issue is my emotions tend to go from one extreme to the other. If I turn on my detachment chip, as I like to call it, I am detached from everything around me. Like I can’t be selective to be detached from one thing, but not another. I will take a look at your article, and see if it can help me find that balance.

By: Miruh

Miruh — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 20:45:50 +0000

Hi Kristi,
I hear you! Oversensitivity challenges me to find the balance to be detached and still embrace what is, to be present to honor and support others for what they are going through. You might be interested in my post on this subject “Getting Unhooked” in my blog. I just happened to write it a few days ago before seeing yours!
Great blog, I will be visiting often.
Cheers,
Miruh

By: Kristi

Kristi — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 20:55:14 +0000

@Tony – Thanks. Since I have been more aware of my feelings, it has been getting easier to define why I work the way I do. It is nice to know other people relate to it as well.

By: Tony L. Jefferson Jr.

Tony L. Jefferson Jr. — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 07:34:18 +0000

This post describes me very well, i find myself able to feel the other persons pain if only a little, but i’m one to not bear my burdons or problems on others, because i believe everyone has their own set of problems and mine pale in comparison to others. I really like this article! Great job identifying it and putting this feeling into words!

By: Kristi

Kristi — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 23:07:00 +0000

@Ari – I do the same thing through my writing & poetry. Usually, if I start writing about something, I am able to pinpoint where things are coming from, which is a great help. I have also found that separating myself from people with strong anger or anxiety alleviates those feelings within myself, which is necessary from time to time.

@Vered – It is just the way I am. I’m not sure I would want to lose the ability or my sensitivity, because it is rewarding in the sense that I am more in tune with those around me, and (hopefully) much more understanding. Plus, I feel like strong emotions, good or bad, are really what makes us feel the most alive.

By: Vered - MomGrind

Vered - MomGrind — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 22:59:53 +0000

It sounds hard! Is there any way you can make yourself less sensitive, or is it just the way you are?

By: Ari Koinuma

Ari Koinuma — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 01:45:23 +0000

Hi Kristi,

Came over from Facebook (which is rare, as I am seldom on that thing) — because I can so relate to just the title alone! And reading your description, it’s like reading somebody describe me.

I have a strong empathic antenna, and I can vividly feel what other people are feeling. Strongly enough that I mistake it for my own feelings, like you said. So frequent isolation is necessary to recover — just so that I can isolate myself and touch base with what it is that *I* am feeling. And unfortunately, I have to choose carefully who I spend time with — so many people are concealing anxiety and despair beneath their surfaces, but I can feel them. And it can be quite uncomfortable. It doesn’t even have to be a physical proximity — I get feelings from news stories, videos, etc.

Luckily, I am a musician and songwriter, so I channel what I soak up into my songs. My songs do display the ugliness I absorb, but ultimately they are all healing and affirming in their honesty.

So, you are definitely not alone — and I do feel that the world has a need for us, the empathic. We are living proofs that we all share what others are going through, that we are all connected.

ari