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Online Dating – The Female Perspective of Match.com

Before I was blessed in meeting my soulmate (via the good old-fashioned, in-person method), I, like many others, embarked into the world of online dating via Match.com. A lot of people are hesitant to admit they tried it, but my theory on the matter was the following: if I can order a pizza, buy shoes, setup doctor’s appointments, apply for jobs, and so many other things online, why should finding a date online be considered strange?

Before I was blessed in meeting my soulmate (via the good old-fashioned, in-person method), I, like many others, embarked into the world of online dating via Match.com. A lot of people are hesitant to admit they tried it, but my theory on the matter was the following: if I can order a pizza, buy shoes, setup doctor’s appointments, apply for jobs, and so many other things online, why should finding a date online be considered strange? Let’s face it, for those who are a bit shy, it is a great way to break the ice when attempting to meet a complete stranger. Plus you can weed out some of the bad apples before they are even remotely close to finding out where you live.

Online Dating
by Joanne Wan

It was only a three-month long journey (thank goodness), but quite an insightful one. After about a month into the process, I began to get a bit cynical, and ended up writing the following list while reviewing winks, emails and search results.

Oddities and amusing thoughts


Not showing your face (shades, strategic shadow placement, etc.) makes me wonder what are you hiding.
Who is not really a “nice guy” on this site?
How exactly do you define “separated” while still living with your wife?
Got lucky with that default photo, eh?
I am thinking that the quality of people here vs. at the bar is not that much different.
Feeeeeeeeeeeereak!
Trying to sell yourself a little over-zealously there, tiger?
No, I do not want or need a sugar daddy.
Five emails in less than hour after a “No Thanks” and no other reciprocation makes you a psycho!
I wanna date, not babysit.
A nice body is not going to make up for the lack of gray matter upstairs.
Womanizer.
What part of “I want to get to know each other via email first” makes you think asking me to meet you on the second message is going to work?
Read my profile first – why would a vegetarian 28 year old in AZ want to date a 50 year old deer hunter in Kentucky?
The Mike Tyson “I am going to pummel you” look does not turn me on.
Mugshots are not hot.
If you are turned off by body art, why are you messaging a girl with a belly ring?
You have sent me that exact introductory email… twice! (This happens quite a lot actually, especially if you change default photos.)
You write like a 5 year old, and I do not date children.
35+ years old allowed only if you are the twin of Clive Owen or Adrien Brody… and single, of course.

Dating day-of-the-week decoder


Friday & Saturday nights – this date is the best of the litter, or the result of not having anything else to do so you took best last-minute whoever was available.

Sunday nights – Being potentially worn out from great Friday & Saturday, this date isn’t that big of a deal. Or Friday & Saturday sucked and this is the backup plan to save the weekend from being a total bummer.

Monday thru Thursday nights, any afternoons – Friends (or friends with benefits) only, unless one party works at a nightclub or bar.

*Note – Breakfast dates are variable on if they are carried on over from an amazing night before or a “oops, got to drunk to go home and passed out on your floor” night. Breakfasts without either of these qualifiers are usually a “just gonna be friends” dates.

**Also, a little disclaimer. I am not biased against Match.com. It is just the only service I used. eHarmony was my other option, but I am just to ADD to fill out that many questions, which means I would have likely been turned down anyway.

By Kristi Hines

Kristi Hines is a freelance writer, professional blogger, and ghostwriter who specializes in business and marketing topics.

14 replies on “Online Dating – The Female Perspective of Match.com”

@sujatha: Thanks!

@Herr_Bert: Common sense certainly does help, but it takes a lot more than that to navigate the online dating world happily.

@Dating Directory Online: I had seen a lot of ads for the various dating sites, but none of the ads portray the actual world of online dating. I wrote this list when I tried it out back in February, and thought it would be good to share for others just starting out, so they could know what kinds of quirky things to expect that they don’t show in the commercials.

Howdy Partner, I fell lucky that I located this post while browsing for online dating profiles. I am with you on the topic of Dating – The Female Perspective of Match.com | kikolani 2.0. Ironically, I was just putting a lot of thought into this last Saturday.

I read about some guy who set up bots to send the same default message to all girls meeting the criteria. If they responded it was sending another automated message and only after the second reply the guy sat down and read it. He was bragging that the ammount of dates he got out of it was pretty high.

@Online Dating Profiles: I think it’s a good list for anyone wondering about the thoughts going through a gal’s mind when reading profiles.

@Bill: Some people find internet dating an odd subject, like they’re almost embarrassed about it, but I think in this day and age, it’s a perfectly acceptable way for singles to meet people.

@Martin: Hmm, that would make sense. Online dating probably has even more benefits for smart programmers who can take advantage of automating the system like that.

Very hot topic, very nicely put.

I myself am at the stage where I am beginning to get cynical.
I have no problem meeting people in the real world, and would maybe go as far to say popular.
However I always seem to end up with the wrong type of girl, but I’m a very positive seeing person and it can take me until being quite eloped with the individual before I realise they’re not for me, or they do that thing – where they get comfortable and turn into a very different individual from the one you met.
Anyway I thought I would give online ago and see if with the throwing yourself out there with the ‘about me’ sections, gave a little more away as to what they’re into (without the pressure of you having just said what you’re into.)

Just wondered if you have any tips for a “nice guy” just trying to find a girl, one who doesn’t get annoyed by my optimism, or finds me pathetic because I like nature and animals, and who can not just keep up, but enjoys a little hiking, camping and travelling.

@AJ: Looking for a kindred spirit is a tough task to say the least. Many people change once they get comfortable and start showing their true personalities. Really it’s about being able to get to that point, to see if the side of them they only show once time has passed is a better side.

What I learned about online dating – be as honest as possible up front, and when you do meet someone, make sure they are true to their profile. With all of the options, online dating becomes speed dating, and if someone doesn’t seem like they are willing to take the time to get to know you, then it’s just not worth it.

This is like a wake up call for those who are denial of using the internet of finding their lifetime partner in life. We are really in the modern world that almost everything works online. It includes our dating life. Your post is really true!

Cheers!

Hello Kristi,

Great list of the “not to do things” when using an online dating site, whether one is male of female. As a man who did try my dating luck on one such site, I can say that at times it felt as if I was being in an alternate reality. Everybody was so good looking, so successful, so everything, until you met them!

I can tell you though that I did find my own soul mate using online dating, so I know that it works. I do understand your misgivings though. One has to use common sense just like in any other “in person” scenario.

Keep the Smiles,

Stevie

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